该用户匿名发帖 发表于 2009-9-8 18:26   全显示 1楼
谢谢楼主更新辛苦了!

这种非常好大部分都是和林老师,结尾处也是给春留下伏笔,不像以前总是留着妈妈的伏笔然后却给人心疼的感觉。

建议楼主不要在增加女主角了,多了个性会有雷同那样就无趣了。

还有建议增加些女性内心描写,比如和谢老师时那么她心里想的应该是甜蜜,那么和林老师时心里会想什么哪?

这里有很多可以发挥的地方。
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  • onsera 金币 +9 獎勵 2009-9-8 19:39
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